Connecting the dots

 When my twin brother, Eddy and I came to US in 1963, our plane landed in San Francisco, and missed our connection to Seattle due to stormy weather. As we walked off the plane, we only saw a sea of people in this foreign land. We looked at each other and said, ummm.... we should we do? I was so glad that I was not alone, at least to have Eddy by my side to face this situation. "LOOK, isn't that Leung Kuen Chua, church friend of our sister, Winnie?" Yes indeed it was him. He recognized us and found out our predicament and offered to take us home for the night and find another flight for us the next day to Seattle. In the mean time, he also contacted our sisters in Seattle about our arrival. This dear brother would go to airport just look for Lost sheep like us, and offered help as one of his ministry, Bless his big heart. I wanted so bad to repay him for his kindness. Unfortunately we lost contact. 

Fast forward 40 plus years, here in Seattle, we were asked to host a missionary family with 3 boys to come stay with us for a week. On the last day, while we were having breakfast, they casually mentioned some friends in Vancouver whom they would be visiting. Those names were so familiar, and they seemed to be the same generation as my sister, Winnie. I then asked What is your father's name? He said it in Chinese, Leung Kuen Chua. I said, What? He was the one whom I wanted to offer our gratitude for his kindness so many years ago. D, the missionary, quickly called his dad in Sacramento and connected us so that I could repay his kindness. D and V (his wife) mentioned to me many times during their week-long visit, his father wondered who this insane couple was who would put up with their family of 5 for one week long? God had arranged this encounter and honored my desire to repay the kindness we received so many years ago. David and Vivian became our friends and stayed with us every time they came through Seattle. 

Another 10 years went by, and during one of D/V's visits, they mentioned a couple, P and M, who also attended our church. We found each other at church and became good friends. Their daughter, C/J also a missionary working with D/V in China for many years.  Last week, when I visited with Carol, who was here visiting her parents (P/M), to our surprise, she knew my sister and nieces in Boston quite well. In addition, C's older brother is also a friend of my niece when they studied at Cornell. Just a small, small world, and all dots connected. PTL!

Willing spirit

A friend of ours confided in us that his elderly brother, who lives in Burnaby, Vancouver BC has yet to know and receive Jesus into his life. Due to my friend's current health issue, he was not able to travel up north to visit his own sister and brother-in-law. My husband and I offered to take a trip up north to visit them. Since my own brother used to work in the city of Burnaby, he knows the area well and is willing to go with us to visit them and share the gospel. I even shared this trip with my prayer group and asked them to pray for courage and clarity in sharing the gospel with this elderly couple. Just before we headed up to Vancouver, we got news that the elderly man had a major stroke and was admitted to the ICU. Oh, this was a shock, and we offered to go visit him in the hospital, but the family declined our visit or phone call. A couple of days later, I met our friend at church and reminded her that unconscious people can still hear; therefore, they contacted the Chinese Christian Mission (CCM) to see if they would have any visiting teams to the hospital. A pastor's wife was just about to go visit a patient in that same hospital and was willing to visit this elderly gentleman. Later, we learned that the pastor's wife was able to share the gospel with this gentleman, and he even showed signs that he was willing to receive Christ. Praise the Lord, and the Lord called him home the very next day. 

I felt bad for not being able to go visit him, but the Lord had a different plan. Send an angel who lives in Vancouver to deliver this important message. She is also able to help the family in the coming days. One of my prayer partners asked me how my trip went. I share the story with her with some regret. She reminded me, "Jennie, the Lord just needs your willing heart; He himself will do the work. Just like Abraham, he was willing to offer his own son when the call came, yet God provided a far better way when we obey." Wow, I am not Abraham, but this is a great reminder that the Lord accepts our willing hearts and actions. He will finish the work according to His perfect plan. 

Story of our deck

Wow, it has been a few years since my last post. During the pandemic, I was busy writing stories for a gift project from Ling and Erin, now that the Life Stories book is completed, I will pick up my writing on this blog. 

Back in 2016, one little suggestion from me drove Hin sing to work so hard to build a beautiful deck in our backyard. We had a couple of steps down into our backyard from our living room, I "suggested" to Hin sing that if he could build a deck that extends directly from our living room without steps will be a much safer solution to our backyard. He said, "good idea" then began this hard work. This beautiful deck became a gathering place for many friends and family. 

Two years ago. we began noticing that the surface began to get uneven, and corners show signs of stress. After much investigation, it was evident that the boards were too tight and no room to expand. Ummm. What should be the solution? Hin sing contemplated taking the whole deck apart and redoing it again. What? Are you kidding? This is just too beautiful to take it apart. 

Recently, Hin sing decided to take action to redo the deck. Painfully he removed board by board, and the foundation frame was exposed. Oh, the pressure and stress of weather (heat and cold), caused the board to expand and push the foundation out of alignment which caused the damage. 

He had to repair and realign the entire foundation before the boards can be put back together. This time he definitely leaves some gaps there for expansion. Can you believe that Hin sing tackled this project during the Seattle heat wave? After 5 days of hard work, a brand new deck re-appeared. 

Oh, this project reminds me of our spiritual journey. Our lives may start out with a firm and good faith foundation, we looked good in our walk of life. With time, stress and anxieties strained our lives, and even our foundation began to shift, and succumb to social pressure, pandemic, and world events, without knowing, they rocked our foundation and our lives began to crack. Just like our original deck, so tightly put together, no room to grow, but eventually caused the damage. God pealed our lives bit by bit, layer by layer to expose what was wrong and needed attention, and repair before He can put us back together into a new and beautiful deck that serves many people in the days to come. This time, we for sure leave some room for growth, the realignment creates a new deck that shows forth His workmanship and purpose. 

A time for everything.... Foot steps and wheel tread

There are a lot of changes in the city that I called home for the last 38 years (almost). This city has built a good reputation as the most livable city to ummm something not so good. Many things have changed to the credit of "progression".

Northgate is the area where I live, in fact, Northgate mall is the first mall built in USA, it was converted from an outdoor mall into an indoor mall due to weather issues. Guess what? the current management decides to tear down this historical mall and make it into an commercial/residential development plus building three ice skating rings. I am one who likes newness, but am saddened by the fact that the mall is being torn down. We walk "the mall" 2 to 3 times a week as our exercises, especially during the wet and cold winter. Today, most of the stores are closed, skeleton crew are left inside some of the stores to do the clean up and clear out. My 4600 steps (each time) in this mall will soon to be history and memories. I met a lot of friends in this mall, it is a very convinient place to tell people where to meet, "Meet me at the Northgate Mall". Oh, how much I will miss this phrase because it will be a lot of construction activities around that area in the near future.

The second big change is the demolition of the viaduct, the old highway 99 in Seattle downtown area. With the ever growing of Seattle population and traffic is a nightmare especially we have to travel from North to the airport in the South. There are many trips to the airport among family and friends, we offered our free services many times and had to use the Hwy 99 (viaduct) instead of the I-5 freeway due to congestion. The viaduct was old and not earthquake proof, so everytime, we drove through this viaduct, I had to say a prayer for special protection. I told the Lord I don't mind going to see Him in heaven, but please don't let me buried under this bridge. Well with many years of planning and bureaucratic hurdles and the new tunnel finally completed after 6 years of  construction time  (3 years behind schedule) and we are now enjoying the new tunnel (soon to be tolled too). The picture above shows that old viaduct is being torned down, it was built 10 ft next to some of the office/residental building along the way. I am not sure what those tenants are being compensated for the disturbance of noise and "shakes" from the concrete demolition.

There will be no changes without the old being gone, in the same manner, there will not be new character built without the old self being demolished. This reminds me of two verses,
II Cor. 4: 16, Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Also in 5:17, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is new creation, the old has gone, the new has come! Contantly asking the Lord to transform me and grant me teachable heart and spirit.

2019 travel log

This May-June we have embarked 4 trips back to back. There are so many things going through my mind and these are my thoughts:

San Diego: Hin sing and I went down to visit our daughters and grand daughters briefly. During the visit, our daughter told us that her two little girls (now age 5 and 9) had accepted Jesus at various time in their lives. Oh, this was the best news ever and we rejoiced greatly with this news.

Sapporo, Hokkaido: This was a trip as a gift to us to visit the famous Hokkaido Japan. We were very impressed  by the cleanliness and politeness of the Japanese culture. During the trip (Signet Tour), we met a gentleman, traveling alone at the urge of his daughter. He has been caring for his wife 7 years with advanced alzheimer and he desperately needs a break. We took him under our wings of 6 to be friended with him and shared the gospel with him. He lives in the east coast and happened to be the same town of my spiritual mentor. So we made some connections for him to support him for this lonely journey and pray that the Lord will bring someone along to minister to him.

Mayo buddies: Four of us living together while we studied at Mayo Clinic long ago. We managed to meet up every other year. This year, our destination was in Montana. We flew into Bozeman, drove up to Big Sky and Yellowstone park. Praising God for his magnificient creation, they are breath taking. Besides enjoying the scenery, we shared out lives together, deep talk and honest sharing. The Lord opened my eyes to see some of the blindspots that I have through my good friend. It was painful to hear yet very honest and true. What is transformation without changing? What is sanctification without teachable spirit? I pray for humility to accept the comments and make changes in my life. Yes, never too old to learn or to change.

St. Paul Minnesota: We attended Hin sing's brother's "Celebration of Life" event. Many of his brothers' buddies flew in from various states. They all are very successful academically and enjoyed life long career and now in retirement stage. In conversation, they kept asking us what do you do in your retriement? " your children and grand children are not living in the same town, no grannie duties, and how do you spend your time? Shopping? Mahjong games? Traveling? Casino? " ummm, it is hard to make them understand our purpose in life is so different, we are living a full life connectiong with people, families, friends, strangers and neighbors. Hin sing took every opportunity to share the gospel with them, it is hard for them to understand and accept..... Continue to sow seeds when the opportunities are given.

Encounter

Encounter #1

My husband and I were sitting in the front row of a flight. Wait, don't take me wrong, it was not first class, it is the "Glorified Greyhound" flight we were flying. Since I had to use wheelchair for my "gout episode", we got to go on the plane first. We both occupied the aisle and middle seats, I told my husband not to give any eye contacts to the incoming passengers, may be we won't have the third person in our window seat. What a selfish thought that was!  Sure enough, it was a full flight, the last person got on the plane came to occupy the seat next to me. Half way on this flight, the young lady sat next to me and I strike a conversation. She was going to Seattle for job interview and prepare her move from mid-west to Seattle just to get away from the snow. (She had no idea that Seattle snow like never before, broke the 70 years record). But anyway, I asked her if she goes to church. I sensed a brief pause from her, she told me that she used to go to church because her dad is a senior pastor of a mega church in midwest. We exchanged some personal information and background, she said, "My mother would be so happy that I met you on this flight" because I introduce her to a church what is fairly close to where she will be living. She then asked me what is my name, I jokingly said, my first name is Auntie, and middle name is Jennie. She burst out laughing said, "oh, my goodness, my parents will be so please that I found an auntie in Seattle." I told her that I am sure her parents had rallied many people to pray for her and her new adventure. We departed the plane with exchanged text and email.

Encounter #2

First couple of our snow days, we were still able to drive out for errands. As I made a stop on a side street, the car behind me was not able to stop due to icy road, and bumped into my car. Oh No, was my first reaction. As I went out the car to assess the damage, the young man from the car behind jumped out his car and apologized profusely for hitting me. He was more nervous than I  was. Fortunately both cars did not have much damage, and we exchanged information and I asked the young man to move our cars to a flat area to assess the situation again. He quickly came and helped me into my car because the street was icy. Very gentle and considerable action on his part.
Upon returning to my home, I found at least 10 text messages from this young man D. He again and again apologized for the hit and wanted to know if I am ok and if my car is ok. I told him few times that I am so impressed by his attitude and we need more young people like him in this day and age.
I even got a text message from D the next morning to make sure I was able to have a good night sleep. Wow, what a nice young man that the Lord has put him across my path.

These two encounters were not planned, yet the Lord brought this young lady and the nice young man to bless me, I thank the Lord for giving me the various opportunities to meet them. We can turn some "not so good" situation into something beautiful. Thank you Jesus.

On Line Classess

A special announcement popped up on my screen recently to invite me to join the  FREE on line studies by Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS). Why not? I told myself.

I diligently finished two studies, Story of Scripture and Jonah/Ruth. Not known to me, after each lesson, I had to take a test. I told myself, it is a piece of cake, easily get my 100% correct answers. Well it did happened at the beginning, as my carelessness and pride slowly got into my head, at times I got only 60%, oh, my pride suffered a big time.

Though the content of the Online lessons seem familiar to me, I still found that there are still much more for me to learn. At the begining of 2019, I planned to spend more time in studying the Bible, not for the knowledge, but to have those principles of His Words touch and change my life.

Recently, our pastor shared "The Diary of the Bible", and I found it on the web and  share this with you. A great reminder and reflection how little do I treasure this book.

The Diary of a Bible 

---

JANUARY 15 - I've been resting quietly for a week. The first few nights after New year's Day my owner read me regularly. But now I guess I've been forgotten.
FEBRUARY 24 - I got out to Sunday School today and my owner used me for family devotions.
APRIL 10 - I was dusted today and put on the center table in the living room. Special company was here, but now I'm back on the shelf again.
MAY 12 - Busy day. My owner had to lead a lesson at church. Had quite a time finding me, and then hunted and hunted to find the texts he needed.
JUNE 5 - I'm in grandma's lap. She's here on a visit. She let a tear fall on Colossians 2:5- 7 when Paul praised the believers for living in Jesus.
JUNE 9 - In grandma's lap again. I've been here every day. It is such a comfort to be appreciated and loved.
JUNE 10 - Grandma is gone and I'm back in the same old place. She kissed me before she left.
JULY 4 - Had a couple of 4-leaf clovers stuck in me today.
AUGUST 1 - Packed in a suitcase with clothes. Off on a vacation, I guess.
AUGUST 7 - Still in the suitcase.
AUGUST 15 - Home again and on the shelf. Not sure why he took me along.
OCTOBER 18 - Pastor visited today, so I was put on the center table in the living room.
NOVEMBER 10 - Was brought to church today and held up to be counted.
DECEMBER 16 - Dusted off today but not opened. Wish grandma would come and visit again.
DECEMBER 31 - Today I was used at the dinner table. Each member of the family was blindfolded in turn and put a finger on a "good luck" verse for the new year. Everyone was quiet when my owner's finger landed on Hosea 4:6.

---

Copyright 1999 Gibson Family Productions

Outward appearance does not solve the heart issue.

People have been commenting on my phone, being too big, too heavy. But I like my phone, good size for my eye sight and I particularly like the quality of pictures of this phone. Oh, did I mention the stylus that come with it, so handy, so cool. Not until......

Recently I found my phone is not working well, drop calls  or not able to dial out nor in. The usage is very limited. I tried many ways to fix this problem. Besides seeking help from technicians and our phone carrier, I even brought a new case, a new protection shield, and hope these newness will help the condition of my phone. How deceiving this is. Beauty on the outsides definitely would not solve the internal issue. "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (I Samuel 16:7b)

The diagnosis of this dysfunctional phone is because T mobile has upgraded their system recently, the new system and technology do not work well with my Verison unlocked phone. The operating system is different with these two carriers. This answer is a devastated news to me.

As I ponder on this issue, God reveals this spiritual lesson to me. I can do all kinds of good things, speak the right words, show kindness to many people and even teach Sunday school.  But if my inside operating system is not in line with Gods' word and His kingdom living, all these outward behavior are of no value in God's eyes. So simple yet so thought provoking.

p.s. God is so humerous, I struggled whether to part with my love (the phone that is)  or pursue with a new. Then I came across an devotional, titled " Let Go of the old and Embrace Gods' New".
"But forget all that-- it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! do you not see it?" (Isaiah 43:18-19a)

Yes, my new phone is not the same as the old, but at least it is in full function like a phone should be. 

Reflection

It has been a long while since my last posting. Some friends of mine asked me about this and worried about my health. Bless their hearts and concern, I am happy to report that I have been blessed with reasonable health, projects and travel had taken up pretty much of my time these past few months. Before I shared about my reflection, I need to quote something I read today. Janice Dean, the meterologist from Fox News shared her thought after she had a cosmetic surgery to tighten her skin around her neck. It was a scarry and painful journey for her due to unforeseen complication. The title of her sharing was "A real pain in the neck". She said " We spent too much time focused on our flaws instead of embracing the things that make us shine". How true and profound this statement is. Too often, we centered our lives on our poor health, obssess with our weight control, (to gain or to lose) and missing out the things that make us shine. Even though this is not a verse from the Bible, but a good quote to remember......

I was blessed with a short trip to my birth place, Shanghai with 3 other siblings. To our great surprise, we were able to find the place where we used to live. All four of us siblings jumped off the Didi Chuxing (Uber in Chinese version), rushed to take picture in front of this old house. We are not sure if this house has been rebuilt or not, nonetheless, we were elated and excited. Why? Because we remembered the many stories our mom told us about this house we used to live and the district where we  resided. Our oldest siblings would still remembered some of the events taken place there, but not me, I was just way too young when we left this place for Hong Kong.

(The top picture was taken in 1982, but the tottom one in 3/19/2017, noticed the street was occupied by cars instead of bicyles)

On the way to Shanghai, I finished writing a book for our precious grand daughter's 7th birthday. The Title is "A Little Girl From China". It has 12 stories, telling stories of  her Tai Poh, Poh Poh, Mommie and herself. All along, I pride myself as good story teller, and our girls have encouraged me from time to time to write about my stories. So here is the first try. I am really excited about this project, it is my love gift to our grand child, but also a journey of reflection. Reflecting on God's many goodness, grace and loving kindness through out my life. So the trip we made back to my birth place has significant meaning to me.

Wait.... people who got a preview of this book reminded me that I need to get ready to write another one for J. Hopefully, in a few years to go, I  still remember other stories that I need to write about for her.

Lesson from my tree

My husband and I planted a new tree at our home in memory of my mom. This was a simple Cypress tree and symbolized many generations. I love the shape of this tree. It was green and full of life. A few weeks later, those vibrant green turned brownish. Hin sing and I chose to believe that it was still striving, just color was kind of fading.  In reality, we were just in denial......
After a few months of observation and watered it faithfully, we came to the conclusion that indeed the tree was not alive. Fortunately, home depot has this "unconditional" refund policy, they accepted our return and replaced it with no question asked.

A Beautiful vibrant tree

When Hin sing digged out the old tree and prepared for the replacement, he was surprised to find out that this tree came with a thin claypot wrapped around all the roots, when he watered it so faithfully, he didn't realize that he was only watering the soil outside the claypot, and none of the water/nutrients reach to the center where all the roots were. In another words, the root did not receive any water or nutrient while sitting there in our front yard.
This reminds me of our spiritual journey, we can flood ourselves with rituals, services, seminars, video, devotional material, but fail to let these precious resources reaching to our hearts and soul to transform our lives.

Same tree, no life left. 

We may fool ourselves thinking that we are growing, but everyone around us notice our color is fading, the shape may still look the same, but inside is dying.

As I prepare to give a talk on parenting, I will definitely use this tree as my object lesson. We diligently teach and nurture our children, only with the world view.... sucess in academic, good in sports, outstanding in music but fail to teach them God's truth and principles. Spiritual matter are not part of our daily conversation with them, just like we only water the soil around the claypot but not the roots inside.

"Show me you ways, O lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long"  Psalms 25:4-5

His eyes is on the sparrow

"I sing because I am happy, I sing because I am free, His eyes is on the sparrow, and I know He watches over me." I learned to play this hymn long ago, I took it as a challenge because it is a 5 Flats composition. I love the melody and I love the lyrics. I sing this song many times, never before I experienced His "watching over me" as much as my recent trip to the east coast.

Every year around mother's day weekend, my siblings and spouses got together in Toronto for a few days just to catch up and for a mini-reunion. This year we made an extra extension to Boston. We had a fantastic time together, lots of seafood feast and lots of laughter. I am so thankful as a family who shares the same faith, we prayed together a lot as well. Before we took off (two older siblings, one in law and me) driving back to Toronto from Boston, all the siblings prayed for our trip's safety. It was just a routine prayer I thought, because we do that all the time. (don't take this for granted)

We were about half way between Boston and Toronto, I was awaken with our car moving left and right, hitting the soft shoulder on the right, then bounced back and forth till we hit the median guard rail on the New York Throughway (I-90). Wow, no time to react, before I knew it, the car stopped at the shoulder next to the guard rail by the fast lane, all 8 airbags exploded immediately. My brother immediately calling us out to see if we are ok. To our huge surprise, all four of us did not sustain any injury except some muscle ache due to the seatbelt's protection. Both the Highway patrol and the tow truck drivers said to us, "The good Lord must be on your side, you didn't hit anyone on the freeway and none of you are injured". As the tow truck was hauling our car onto the flatbed truck, I asked the police what do people do when they have an accident on the freeway? He told us that we will be transported to the nearest town, then you find your way home. Did I hear him right? We were in no where near any big town, 5 hours from Toronto, about 4 hours from Boston, mine o mine, God was watching over us just like the song said. Piece by piece, siblings left in Boston made many calls for us to book hotel room in Buffalo NY where we needed to drop off the rental car. Then booked bus tickets for us to go home from Buffalo back to Toronto. Section by section, we finally made it back to Toronto 24 hours later. (I will spare you with all the details, but I have to share with you that our Lord was with us the entire time, things just don't happen coincidently. He orchestrated every single steps and pieces for us.... got a rental car in a tiny town, only minutes before they closed for the weekend, hotel, taxi, bus, etc.)

We all had our PTSD, could not close our eyes to rest and sleep, the entire crash incident would appear repeatedly in our mind. Then this song (His eyes is on the sparrow) came into my mind. Indeed our Lord has been watching over us, it was a miracle that we all survived without injury except the car was totalled and left in a small town garage.

These couple of days, I was reading Psalm 106 -108, the writers of these Psalms recorded what the Lord has done for His people.

"Give thank  to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever." (106:1, 107:1)
"My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul." (108:1)

It would not be right if I hold back this incident without giving thanks to the Lord and it is a huge reminder to me and many that our lives really is in God's hand. I feel so unworthy for all these goodness that came my way. I pray and hope that my life is worth His calling.

Mother's day sighting

With Mother's day around the corner, I received gifts, flowers, videos, email and surprises from love ones. It is an exciting time of the year. I began to understand why God created woman (Eve) to examplify part of God's character. Mothers seems to get more acknowledgement than fathers, (sorry guys!) I guess because of the nurturing nature of mothers.

What kind of mother's day sighting did I witnessed yesterday? I was driving on 405 S, traffic slowed down due to an accident. As every car was about to pick up the speed, a few cars ahead of me made a sudden stop, I saw all the brake dust flying in the air. Not just one car, but cars of the entire free way of 5 lanes also stop. Wow, what is going on?

This is what I saw: a mother duck with her little ones crossing the busy freeway 405 S.

I imagine that mother duck said to her little ducks, hey, "we need to go over to the other side of the road, it is important that you will be brave, just follow me and we will make it." Isn't this what mothers do sometimes, facing the most challenging situations and have to " pretend" that you are brave, just stay together and follow me. This idea may not be the wisest one may say, but love is not logical. In the same manner, God sent His only Son to come and die for us in this sinful world, totally not logical and senseless, yet, because of His love, we are saved.

May you have a blessed mother's day. We do miss our mom (grandma and great grandma) at lot especially during this season.

p.s. No, I didn't take this picture while driving, just in case you wonder.

My "handicapable sign" is soon to expire

One of the perk for my recent journey is having this handicapped sign- it saved us a ton of money for parking during the many medical appointments and treatments and also the conviniences of finding a parking spot. My son in law, Ryan, always called this "handicapable" sign. I am glad that my journey is about to end temporarily, the tumor board agreed to hold off my treatment for the time being and re-check my blood every six weeks. I am good with such a decision and really want to take this time to thank all my friends and family for your fervent prayers, care and kindness. God indeed has done wonder in my life which I feel so unworthy. I do not know nor understand why my journey is a success to a certain degree while others are not as what we have prayed and hoped for. I do not deserve this special treatment from the Lord and yet, will pledge to INTENTIONALLY live it to the fullest for Him.

Today, I went to Children Hospital to visit a little friend, Ava, 7 years old from Chicago, who is fighting against the cancer in her tiny body. She and her family are new friends to us, our temporary neighbors at this moment. I told Ava I will ask all my friends who have been praying for me all these months will stop praying for me, but instead, to pray for little Ava. She gave me a sweetest smile and said, "thank you."

"Lord, I thank you for your special care for me all these months, may I ask you humbly to take care of our little friend, Ava and grant her days and years of good health and recovery. Grant strength to her family as they go through this difficult journey with her. You love her just as much you love me, take good care of her during the treatment process. Thank you. In your precious Son's name I pray, Amen"

This is written by Ava's mom, Esther.
http://fortheloveofavalee.blogspot.com/2016/03/update.html?m=1

Thorn in my blood

"There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me..... But He (the Lord) said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Cor. 12:7, 9

We are all familiar with this passenge written by apostle Paul, and we all knew there was a thorn in his flesh, but not really know what it is. He has asked the Lord three times to take it away, but the answer to his request was "my grace is sufficient for you." I too, have a thorn in my blood, I didn't ask the Lord to remove it, ( I intentionally skipped verse 8 in the Bible quote) but I expect the recent chemo will do the work. WRONG! ummm... today is not a good day, I got so frustrated with my situation, the chemo treatment has been cancelled and postponed umteen times for one reason or the other. Many times I walked into the clinic with my husband expecting to be hooked up for the treatment. Hot soup, I pad, kindle and my cell phone all in one bag and got ready for a long day. We walked out untouched and headed out for lunch date or spend time with our children visiting from different states with the intention to rally alongside with me. Disappointed? Not really, because I enjoyed those perks of good times. However, extremely frustrated because I scheduled all my life activities around to accommodate the treatment, and instead I am getting no where. When people asked me when is my next chemo so that they can pray for me, my standard answer was you know as much as I know. Oh, how difficult it is to live in the unknown and uncertainties.

Many of you had been more than encouraging, telling me how much you enjoyed reading my blog and have been inspired by my experience. Really?? If you read the blog carefully, you can see the frustration in between lines, but today my frustration is very evident. My friend reminded me today that my frustration and maddness would not last more than a day, I wrote back to her, "don't worry, once I aired it out, I am totally fine again."

My recent bone marrow test shows that cancer cells still there, but the doctor is not sure if I would get into the same reaction like last chemo if another treatment is given. I told him clearly that if possible, I do not want another treatment. If the Lord has granted me 27 yrs with the cells growing inside my blood (the thorn), I probably can go on with the unwelcome cells inside me together with God's grace, just like what Paul had said in his letter to the Corinthians. His grace is more than enough for my alloted days on earth. Oh, I feel so relieved and will slowly resume my various responsibilities as my health can afford. My oncologist will still present my case to the tumor board (he missed last week's mtg) and I am sure they would be just as puzzled. I jokingly told my doctor to add my case onto the medical history as exceptional or extraordinary.

When I meet apostle Paul in the future, we could definitely compare our thorns. But by then, who cares? We will be so excited by all the other heavenly things.....

This is the needle for my bone marrow. Hin sing wanted to save it to use as a tool.

Turtle and the rabbit

Everyone is familiar with the story of the race of a turtle and a rabbit. Turtle being known as sturdy, stable and constant while rabbit being fast, very reactive and impatient.  I am more or less be identified with the rabbit, for those who know me, "speed" is my middle name. I tend to do things really fast, not necessarily accurate, unfortunately. Planner and a controller, and got into a lot of unnecessary detours and unwanted worries. These are not necessarily all bad nor good, but it is a journey that I am going through. About a year ago, my oncologist had already been talking about chemo for my blood condition, he told me that he wanted to do it around Christmas time (2014) so that I would be all better by the time of Chinese New Year (2015). Oh, I told him Christmas season is important to me, but Chinese New Year is not as important celebration in my household. Now, one year later, very close to another Chinese New Year, I am still not done with my chemo....

In this past year, so much has happened, so many detours. Though this rabbit (me) is running really fast, but all seem to lead to no where. ummm. With all these set backs, postponement, cancellation and rescheduling, I really do not know where I am heading to. However, all these interruptions gave me great blessings of experiencing God's steadfastness, sturdy pace, focus path and constant provision and protection. (In no way I am comparing God with turtle) In another word, I need to learn to slow down, to let go and be led instead of leading my own schedule and planning.

Rejoice in th Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! (Philippians 4:4) I have to admit it is hard to rejoice when things are out of control, cannot plan anything solidly. Every schedule is so fluid, changes everyday. Though the situation is so uncertain, I am blessed with many perks of mini travel, meeting up with family and friends. Since I do not have regular working hours, time is my commodities that I use them to meet up with people that I normally don't get to meet. Make time for simple meals with friends/family and learning to cook again. Regain some of my kitchen territories from my dear hubby. That is the lesson I am learning to rejoice in the midst of uncertainties.

Back to the story of the rabbit. The nature of rabbit in me will not change, but I am learning to enjoy every moment that the Lord has given me. Interruptions are good, they are opportunities to slow down and experience God's presence and peace.

In my head I am already planning how to talk to my oncologist to schedule my next chemo to accommodate Erin/Ryan's visit here next week so that we can spend some quality time in Vancouver for pre-Chinese New Year celebration. Aiyahhh.... this rabbit is busy running again.

God's incidents

Many people would use coincident to describe some events, but I have lived to learn that these incidents and moment are truly God's incidents.

Case #1: My sister and I hosted a neighborhood gathering this past Saturday. This was the second time we hosted since we moved into this new neighborhood 2 1/2 yrs ago. Yet, we still had not met some of our neighors due to various schedules and new move ins. We knew all along our immediate neighors are related to Mrs. Y, my church friend. During the casual conversation, I mentioned to these Asian neighors that many years ago, I was the medical translator for Mrs. Y's relative and wonder if they know whom I was talking about and also how is that person doing these days? The couple looked at me with wide eyes and disbelief, they were shocked to find out the translator they met nine years ago in the medical center was the hostess and neighbor of this gathering. Instant connection...  I am so thankful that the Lord opens this door for us to connect once again with one another and they may just one day will get to know Whom I beleive and serve. I was only a stranger to them then and they said all these times they were hoping one day they would find this mysterious lady. God paved this connection.

Case #2: A good friend of mine (R) from LA area has been praying alongside with me for my recent medical journey. R has been very faithful, called and texted me often to check on me. She told me many times that her cell group is praying for me too. I thank her for her kindness. Today I received an email from a friend, (E) from many years ago (old church friend) that she has been praying for a lady from Seattle with some blood disorder per one of her cell group member's request. Recently, R decided to show the picture of the lady whom they have been praying for and update them on her condition. E and her husband were shocked to find out the mysterious "Jennie" person that they have been praying these past few months is the Jennie Li that they know so well from ECC (my church). These two incidents happened just last couple of days, I am totally overwhelmed by God's work in our lives.

Our church has been teaching missional life and "Life to life, faith to faith and generation to generation" for these five years. It is not just the sermon, passages from the Bible, but it is indeed our lives. Lord, help me to live a life that is a reflection of your character and your purpose, may our lives bring out the true gospel of why you came to earth to offer us the eternal hope and salvation. I am using the same passage that E sent to me this morning in her email to encourage one another.

II Samuel 7: 18-22 "Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight. O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with me, O Sovereign Lord?
What more can I (the bible said David) say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign Lord. For the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and make it known to your servant. How great you are, O Sovereign Lord!. There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."

Waking up

Today's blood test finally shows that my blood is slowly waking up. In another word, the count is rising slowly. Praise the lord for this! Even during this period of waiting, I have been enjoying fairly good health and life as usual.

Max Lucado's "In the eyes of the storm", it reminds me time after time, His very presence has never been absent. It is our circumstances that hinder our ability to see and hear. I learned " our storm is His  path", ponder on this statement and experience this truth.

I am just about finishing receiving my immune booster, gamma globulin the treatment center, should be good to face this winter, hopefully. Waiting to get ok to taste sushi again some days.

Does God honor our prayers?

Oct. 12 2015 was a memorable day. As usual Monday morning came around, Hin sing and I were in the hospital waiting for blood drawn, doctor's appointment and the chemo Rx if the blood is ok. This seemed to be a weekly routine now for these few weeks. Well, it turned out that my blood is still not good enough for chemo, after consulting with other hematologists, my doctor decided to hold off my chemo treatment "all together" for the time being. We will proceed to have a bone marrow test next week just to find out what is stopping the marrow producing the good blood. We are at peace with this proposal.

Through out the day, I got calls from our daughter, Erin, to update me about her mother in law, Susannas' condition. She was battling her last stage of bile duct cancer for just more than a year now. Through out the process, esp. during these last few weeks, we called and encouraged each other and prayed for one another during our various journeys. I treasured the time we had together, I got to know her ever since our children started dating and found her to be a woman of great faith. Her life has been a great testimony of God's faithfulness and grace. The Lord took her home on Monday night, the same day I got my message of no more chemo. How ironic that is.

My doctor was very puzzled with my condition, but I kept telling him many people are praying for me, and I am in good hand. On the other hand, many people were also praying for Susanna, does it mean God does not honor those prayers for her? Ryan (our son in law) sent us this video of his mom giving her testimony during one of the church service. I believe she has a great answer to this question.

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Susanna Dayala's Testimony

May all our lives be a true testimony for our Lord, one day when we meet Him face to face, He would welcome us as His faithful servants. I also pray that our lives will leave a great legacy for our children to remain faithful, be a living testimony for our Lord Jesus.

Live it to the fullest, live it intentionally

As many of you know that my medical journey is nothing ordinary, even my medical team is searching for an answer. With all that said, reflecting on the last few weeks, I am indeed thankful (shamely to say, not always, esp. during the waiting for the unknown).

Our daughters and their families flew into town to grant me and Hin sing support for the journey, but the journey was uneventful, because the treatments were postponed time after time. I welcome their visit, but so worried that our little grand children will see their grannie without hair and so sick looking. The Lord has been more than gracious, all my hair remained on my head (so far) and I was in relatively good health (without the treatment) and able to enjoy their visits. As I am reminded time after time, I can plan all I want, but the Lord is in charge every bit of our lives. "Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you. Were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declair" (Psalms 40:5) 

With that said, I choose today's blog's title as "Live it to the fullest, live it intentionally". With all the tragedies around us these few weeks, lives can be taken in the blink of an eye. I reflected often have I lived fully for the Lord? It is not how much have I done, but rather how much have I lived?

In a recent memorial service held in our church for the young victim of the Aurora bridge tragedy, I saw a couple who wailed loudly. Later I found out they attended the service because they also have a son injured in the same accident. They witnessed how our church came together to comfort and help with the family who suffered such a tragic loss. The man told someone that he believed in a wrong god (buddhist) and he was truly touched by the love of Christ shared in that evening. That is what I meant fullest and intentionally. May the seeds of gospel take roots in those who heard and witnessed His love.

Back to my own journey, God has placed many people along the path of my recent journey. Do they see Christ in me? God please help me to live intentionally....... Hopefully I can see God's plan more clearly next week while so much unknown ahead of me. Waiting is hard lesson, but I am sure it is for my benefit. "For the Lord is good, His love endures forever" ( Psalms 100:5) 

Glass Doll

Our younger daughter, Erin and her husband, Ryan came home to rally me on my 2nd round of chemo. I was really encouraged and ready to go through the 2nd treatment. I pad, kindle and my phone all packed and Erin/Ryan, Hin sing and me arrived at the Center. Many people knew about my schedule and prayed for us for this round of treatment. I was so ready......

The doctor came in with my blood test report. Everything looks good except my platlet is dropping to low level. This time it is not the sodium, not the rising of white cell, but it is the platlet. My mind quickly went into action plan, ok, just give me blood then. The doctor shook his head, "we have to find out why your bone marrow is not making the red cell as we have expected. We cannot proceed with the chemo today." Oh, what a disappointment. My perfect plan is to have chemo this week, getting ready for our older daughter, Ling and her family to arrive and spend a week with us. We even went out to shop for toys and play things for our precious grand daughters to enjoy while I can rest at home with them.

This is a bomb, all my plans are crashed, deflated. Yet, when Erin/Ryan drove up to pick us up, a friend of church called me while I was still in the car, she said she went to the treatment center to visit me and found out that my treatment was cancelled. Fortunately I am still there in the parking area. Without me knowing it, God has sent an angel to come all the way from Bothell to just to keep me companied for my treatment and also brought me many goodies as well. While I apologized for wasting her trip, she turned around to encourage me to go out and have a good time with my family. She was right, our Lord does not make mistakes. He is in full charge of my schedule and events, why am I down hearted because of change of schedule?

Earlier while in the doctor's office, I even bargain or better word was to suggest to the doctor that the 2nd round should be on my schedule of convinience and commitment, but he only said, we just have to wait and see. But in the meantime we are scheduling you for next Monday and few tests in between. Oh, remember, don't use knife, don't fall or have cut wound, you will be in danger. I jokingly said, yes sir, I will be a glass doll in the time being, being pampered by my husband and daughters while we wait.

Sun is shinning through my home office while I write this blog, God is reminding me "I am in charge, not you. Submit to me with gladness and enjoy this moment while you can." So here I am, in good health (except my blood), being pampered and planning eat outs with Erin (btw, she is also on work assignment, and I have to honor that too) while I can. Hin sing came home after work, always asking "what would you ladies like to eat tonight?" Wow, what a life.....