Thorn in my blood

"There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me..... But He (the Lord) said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Cor. 12:7, 9

We are all familiar with this passenge written by apostle Paul, and we all knew there was a thorn in his flesh, but not really know what it is. He has asked the Lord three times to take it away, but the answer to his request was "my grace is sufficient for you." I too, have a thorn in my blood, I didn't ask the Lord to remove it, ( I intentionally skipped verse 8 in the Bible quote) but I expect the recent chemo will do the work. WRONG! ummm... today is not a good day, I got so frustrated with my situation, the chemo treatment has been cancelled and postponed umteen times for one reason or the other. Many times I walked into the clinic with my husband expecting to be hooked up for the treatment. Hot soup, I pad, kindle and my cell phone all in one bag and got ready for a long day. We walked out untouched and headed out for lunch date or spend time with our children visiting from different states with the intention to rally alongside with me. Disappointed? Not really, because I enjoyed those perks of good times. However, extremely frustrated because I scheduled all my life activities around to accommodate the treatment, and instead I am getting no where. When people asked me when is my next chemo so that they can pray for me, my standard answer was you know as much as I know. Oh, how difficult it is to live in the unknown and uncertainties.

Many of you had been more than encouraging, telling me how much you enjoyed reading my blog and have been inspired by my experience. Really?? If you read the blog carefully, you can see the frustration in between lines, but today my frustration is very evident. My friend reminded me today that my frustration and maddness would not last more than a day, I wrote back to her, "don't worry, once I aired it out, I am totally fine again."

My recent bone marrow test shows that cancer cells still there, but the doctor is not sure if I would get into the same reaction like last chemo if another treatment is given. I told him clearly that if possible, I do not want another treatment. If the Lord has granted me 27 yrs with the cells growing inside my blood (the thorn), I probably can go on with the unwelcome cells inside me together with God's grace, just like what Paul had said in his letter to the Corinthians. His grace is more than enough for my alloted days on earth. Oh, I feel so relieved and will slowly resume my various responsibilities as my health can afford. My oncologist will still present my case to the tumor board (he missed last week's mtg) and I am sure they would be just as puzzled. I jokingly told my doctor to add my case onto the medical history as exceptional or extraordinary.

When I meet apostle Paul in the future, we could definitely compare our thorns. But by then, who cares? We will be so excited by all the other heavenly things.....

This is the needle for my bone marrow. Hin sing wanted to save it to use as a tool.