Our younger daughter, Erin and her husband, Ryan came home to rally me on my 2nd round of chemo. I was really encouraged and ready to go through the 2nd treatment. I pad, kindle and my phone all packed and Erin/Ryan, Hin sing and me arrived at the Center. Many people knew about my schedule and prayed for us for this round of treatment. I was so ready......
The doctor came in with my blood test report. Everything looks good except my platlet is dropping to low level. This time it is not the sodium, not the rising of white cell, but it is the platlet. My mind quickly went into action plan, ok, just give me blood then. The doctor shook his head, "we have to find out why your bone marrow is not making the red cell as we have expected. We cannot proceed with the chemo today." Oh, what a disappointment. My perfect plan is to have chemo this week, getting ready for our older daughter, Ling and her family to arrive and spend a week with us. We even went out to shop for toys and play things for our precious grand daughters to enjoy while I can rest at home with them.
This is a bomb, all my plans are crashed, deflated. Yet, when Erin/Ryan drove up to pick us up, a friend of church called me while I was still in the car, she said she went to the treatment center to visit me and found out that my treatment was cancelled. Fortunately I am still there in the parking area. Without me knowing it, God has sent an angel to come all the way from Bothell to just to keep me companied for my treatment and also brought me many goodies as well. While I apologized for wasting her trip, she turned around to encourage me to go out and have a good time with my family. She was right, our Lord does not make mistakes. He is in full charge of my schedule and events, why am I down hearted because of change of schedule?
Earlier while in the doctor's office, I even bargain or better word was to suggest to the doctor that the 2nd round should be on my schedule of convinience and commitment, but he only said, we just have to wait and see. But in the meantime we are scheduling you for next Monday and few tests in between. Oh, remember, don't use knife, don't fall or have cut wound, you will be in danger. I jokingly said, yes sir, I will be a glass doll in the time being, being pampered by my husband and daughters while we wait.
Sun is shinning through my home office while I write this blog, God is reminding me "I am in charge, not you. Submit to me with gladness and enjoy this moment while you can." So here I am, in good health (except my blood), being pampered and planning eat outs with Erin (btw, she is also on work assignment, and I have to honor that too) while I can. Hin sing came home after work, always asking "what would you ladies like to eat tonight?" Wow, what a life.....
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Friday, September 11, 2015
Inside out
during this most recent hospitalization, I was assigned to a double room. :(
First enounter: I was really sick when I was admitted into the room. My roommate #1 greeted me warmly, and I tried to settle in after all the commotion. The TV was blasting next to me, this was our conversation.
Me: Mame, I am really tired and want to sleep, do you mind to turn your TV down a bit so that I can rest? (She was watching "the sharks") which is one of my favorite. But nothing done.
Me: oh did you have problem turning the volume button, it is not any lower.
#1: this is the lowest volume it gets.
Me: do you mind if I ask the nurse to come and check out your control?
#1: if you want to, ( sound kind of disgust)
Nurses were summoned and came per my request.
Nurse: Mame, let me check out your control to see if we can adjust the volume
#1: No, this is the volume I normally have to put myself to sleep.
Nurse turned around and said to me, we are taking you out to another room and get you rested. Wow, sounds heavenly to me.
Second encounter: A petite quiet Japanese lady who does not speak English
Never look at a person from his or her appearance. She was combative, trying all night to climb out of bed. Yelling out daughter's name all night long. I felt I was in nursing home environment. I was so frustrated, on the way to bathroom, I looked at her sternly, motions her to zip her lips and close her eyes. My evil look may have scarred her a bit, but not for long.
Morning shift came in with a joyful nursing aid who is loud and not so professional. He played into her mood, those two just stimulate one another and I was about to scream.
Then the charge nurse came to apologize to me for this unfavorable encounter, she send in an Indian volunteer young man to just sit with her to make sure she does not climb out. This young man was on his I phone learning Japanese phrases to communicate with this lady. I told him he is a saint, but he said, "no Mame, I am a fool". TRue humility.
Third encounter: A 86 yrs old with a French name
Mid night I was awakened by all the commotion next to my empty bed. Aiyahhhh... They promised me to have no more roommate if they can help. Urinary track infection causes her to call for bathroom help every 5 minutes. I was dead tired and could have cared less. The sweet nurse came and apologized again for not able to fulfill their promise.
Life is full of curve balls, yet every encounter is in God's hand. The outcome of each of these encounters is all depends on what is inside of me. That is the reason I borrowed the movie title "Inside out" to describe my reent journey.
First enounter: I was really sick when I was admitted into the room. My roommate #1 greeted me warmly, and I tried to settle in after all the commotion. The TV was blasting next to me, this was our conversation.
Me: Mame, I am really tired and want to sleep, do you mind to turn your TV down a bit so that I can rest? (She was watching "the sharks") which is one of my favorite. But nothing done.
Me: oh did you have problem turning the volume button, it is not any lower.
#1: this is the lowest volume it gets.
Me: do you mind if I ask the nurse to come and check out your control?
#1: if you want to, ( sound kind of disgust)
Nurses were summoned and came per my request.
Nurse: Mame, let me check out your control to see if we can adjust the volume
#1: No, this is the volume I normally have to put myself to sleep.
Nurse turned around and said to me, we are taking you out to another room and get you rested. Wow, sounds heavenly to me.
Second encounter: A petite quiet Japanese lady who does not speak English
Never look at a person from his or her appearance. She was combative, trying all night to climb out of bed. Yelling out daughter's name all night long. I felt I was in nursing home environment. I was so frustrated, on the way to bathroom, I looked at her sternly, motions her to zip her lips and close her eyes. My evil look may have scarred her a bit, but not for long.
Morning shift came in with a joyful nursing aid who is loud and not so professional. He played into her mood, those two just stimulate one another and I was about to scream.
Then the charge nurse came to apologize to me for this unfavorable encounter, she send in an Indian volunteer young man to just sit with her to make sure she does not climb out. This young man was on his I phone learning Japanese phrases to communicate with this lady. I told him he is a saint, but he said, "no Mame, I am a fool". TRue humility.
Third encounter: A 86 yrs old with a French name
Mid night I was awakened by all the commotion next to my empty bed. Aiyahhhh... They promised me to have no more roommate if they can help. Urinary track infection causes her to call for bathroom help every 5 minutes. I was dead tired and could have cared less. The sweet nurse came and apologized again for not able to fulfill their promise.
Life is full of curve balls, yet every encounter is in God's hand. The outcome of each of these encounters is all depends on what is inside of me. That is the reason I borrowed the movie title "Inside out" to describe my reent journey.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Blood factor
Psalms
139: 13-16 " For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your
works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depth of
the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All days ordained for me were
written in your book, before one of them came to be."
In these past few months, I learned many facts about blood in my system. Though I have some medical training, but blood is definitely not my interest. When my blood work became unbalanced, it affects so many other organs and energy level. In another words, good blood sustain life and give us energy, as simple as that. With chemo, my bad white count goes down which is very promising, but at the same time, I also lose my red blood cells. The doctor was very puzzled and ordered blood transfusion. Even with the additional blood, my red cell continues to drop and finally was stabilized as a result of many prayers. I am so thankful for all the prayer support from people near and far, many of them I have never met, but only through our daughters and friends and family. This makes me think one step deeper…. As I serve as an “online missionary” through an organization, my job was to walk people through the new found faith they discovered through the various web sites. One of the reminder that I send to them is always encourage them to find a faith base community to plug themselves in, learn from others and let others step in to help him/her grow in this spiritual journey. Life could have ups and down, but surround yourself with friends of same faith to be held accountable and learn from one another. Just like I need that two units of someone else’s blood to boost up my count and grant me energy. I am thankful to those who took time to donate their precious blood to help us who are in need. Indeed I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my creator, Hallelujah!!
In these past few months, I learned many facts about blood in my system. Though I have some medical training, but blood is definitely not my interest. When my blood work became unbalanced, it affects so many other organs and energy level. In another words, good blood sustain life and give us energy, as simple as that. With chemo, my bad white count goes down which is very promising, but at the same time, I also lose my red blood cells. The doctor was very puzzled and ordered blood transfusion. Even with the additional blood, my red cell continues to drop and finally was stabilized as a result of many prayers. I am so thankful for all the prayer support from people near and far, many of them I have never met, but only through our daughters and friends and family. This makes me think one step deeper…. As I serve as an “online missionary” through an organization, my job was to walk people through the new found faith they discovered through the various web sites. One of the reminder that I send to them is always encourage them to find a faith base community to plug themselves in, learn from others and let others step in to help him/her grow in this spiritual journey. Life could have ups and down, but surround yourself with friends of same faith to be held accountable and learn from one another. Just like I need that two units of someone else’s blood to boost up my count and grant me energy. I am thankful to those who took time to donate their precious blood to help us who are in need. Indeed I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my creator, Hallelujah!!
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