Turtle and the rabbit

Everyone is familiar with the story of the race of a turtle and a rabbit. Turtle being known as sturdy, stable and constant while rabbit being fast, very reactive and impatient.  I am more or less be identified with the rabbit, for those who know me, "speed" is my middle name. I tend to do things really fast, not necessarily accurate, unfortunately. Planner and a controller, and got into a lot of unnecessary detours and unwanted worries. These are not necessarily all bad nor good, but it is a journey that I am going through. About a year ago, my oncologist had already been talking about chemo for my blood condition, he told me that he wanted to do it around Christmas time (2014) so that I would be all better by the time of Chinese New Year (2015). Oh, I told him Christmas season is important to me, but Chinese New Year is not as important celebration in my household. Now, one year later, very close to another Chinese New Year, I am still not done with my chemo....

In this past year, so much has happened, so many detours. Though this rabbit (me) is running really fast, but all seem to lead to no where. ummm. With all these set backs, postponement, cancellation and rescheduling, I really do not know where I am heading to. However, all these interruptions gave me great blessings of experiencing God's steadfastness, sturdy pace, focus path and constant provision and protection. (In no way I am comparing God with turtle) In another word, I need to learn to slow down, to let go and be led instead of leading my own schedule and planning.

Rejoice in th Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! (Philippians 4:4) I have to admit it is hard to rejoice when things are out of control, cannot plan anything solidly. Every schedule is so fluid, changes everyday. Though the situation is so uncertain, I am blessed with many perks of mini travel, meeting up with family and friends. Since I do not have regular working hours, time is my commodities that I use them to meet up with people that I normally don't get to meet. Make time for simple meals with friends/family and learning to cook again. Regain some of my kitchen territories from my dear hubby. That is the lesson I am learning to rejoice in the midst of uncertainties.

Back to the story of the rabbit. The nature of rabbit in me will not change, but I am learning to enjoy every moment that the Lord has given me. Interruptions are good, they are opportunities to slow down and experience God's presence and peace.

In my head I am already planning how to talk to my oncologist to schedule my next chemo to accommodate Erin/Ryan's visit here next week so that we can spend some quality time in Vancouver for pre-Chinese New Year celebration. Aiyahhh.... this rabbit is busy running again.